Feedback Thoughts

(Photo by Gerd Altmann)

Can you imagine if we never received feedback? We would live in a world of madness. From the moment you're born you are receiving feedback. Adults are constantly teaching you how to act right and how to treat other people. They tell you good job, which is feedback when you finally learn how to use the big kid toilet. Feedback is how you know right from wrong and if anything needs altering. Feedback is everything.

However, while feedback is important, it is still normal to to feel that it is easier to give it rather than than to take feedback. Guy Winch wrote a great article on how to cope with feedback if you don't take criticism well. He basically tells you to know your worth and while others criticize you, do not criticize yourself. I really like the 5 tips for taking feedback. If people took these 5 things into consideration when receiving feedback, I think it will make them stronger. It makes sense though to feel a little stung when you get feedback, especially when you are proud of whatever it is that you're getting criticized on. You  might feel proud and sensitive to admitting flaws. Or even sometimes you might disagree and not think something is flawed and you prefer it the way it is. The best example I can think of is when we have to write scripts in Gaylord. Our teachers will give us suggestions and changes that they think will make our stories better but sometimes you don't always agree that their suggestion will make it better.

In the article, "Be A Mirror," Gravity Goldberg does an excellent job at advising one how to give constructive feedback. You have to be specific, focus on what they're doing, focus on the process, be aware of how you word the feedback, and try to avoid saying "I think." These steps will help the person take criticism, without feeling bad about themselves.

Just like Goldberg's fourth tip says, wording is important when giving feedback. In Maria Popova's article about praise she explains that wording can effect how children develop learning skills that will later translate into adulthood. They took a group of children and gave them math problems. One groups was "praised for their intellect," so for example their feedback would sound like "You're so clever, good job!" The other group was praised on their effort, so their feedback would sound like "Good job, you must have worked so hard!" Because of this, the students that were told they were smart focused more on failing and had a hard time trying new things. The group that was praised for their hard work were more willing to try new things and would take a new approach at solving problems if they reached a dead end.

When giving or receiving feedback you should be vigilant about what you're either saying or hearing. There is such thing as bad feedback, but don't think that anything and everything that gets criticized is bad. But also, when giving feedback have some compassion, it's still a person you are talking to and if you want a job done well, knocking someone down isn't going to help.

Story Telling, Week 2 Story: Cupid and Psyche

Cupid and Psyche reuniting.

(Photo by Wikimedia Commons)

Cupid and Psyche: Retold 

There was a beautiful Princess, named Psyche. She was so beautiful, it was rumored she was actually the goddess, Venus. Because people believed she was Venus, they stopped worshipping her shrines and stopped celebrating holidays in her name. This made the real Venus very angry.

Venus came up with a plan to destroy Psyche. She sent her son, Cupid, to make her fall in love with him, only so he can leave her and break her heart. Although, Psyche was the most beautiful girl in the world, she was very lonely. No man felt worthy enough for her. She often spent her time alone, writing by the pond near her castle.

Cupid, following his mother’s orders, disguised himself as handsome prince. He approached her as she was sitting alone and began talking to her. He called himself, Prince Eros. The king and queen were suspicious because they’ve never heard of this prince before and the king banned Psyche from every seeing him again.

Psyche did not listen. She and Prince Eros would sneak around and meet at the pond every day. If they could not see each other they would have messengers deliver love letters to each other. Psyche was in love and so was Cupid. Cupid found himself in a dilemma. Should he break Psyche’s heart like his mother commanded or should he fight to be with Psyche? He knew that he could be no match for his mother, she was too powerful and she would always find him.

One day, Psyche was waiting by the pond for Prince Eros. He never showed up. She began crying, worried something might have happened to him. Then, approached a messenger. He handed her a letter and disappeared. She wept after reading the letter. Prince Eros told her he never loved her and that he was using her for her family’s fortune. He decided to give up and move on when he realized her parents would never let them be together.

She was so upset, she hung herself later that evening. The whole town was devastated by her death. The town and people from all over came to her funeral to worship because they still believed she was Venus. The death of Psyche caused the celebrations in Venus’s name to be canceled and the shrines were abandoned. It hurt the people too much to celebrate Psyche after her death.

This made Venus angrier. She thought surely by destroying Psyche, the people would forget about her and bring their attention back to Venus. But they did not. The people were in love with Psyche even after death.

Cupid was just as upset about his lover’s death. He was so upset he confessed to his mother everything, in hopes that she would punish him by making him mortal, and killing him. And that is exactly what she did.

Feeling betrayed Venus stripped Cupid of his bow and arrow and turned him into a mortal. She loved being powerful and loved being loved more than she loved her own son. She killed him by sword with her own hand. As he was dying he thanked his mother for killing him. Confused she questioned him. As he took his last breath, he told his mother that he could now be with his love, Psyche, forever.

Psyche and Cupid meet in a beautiful castle, in another world. Though, physically different, Psyche knew exactly who he was. They remained together for the rest of eternity, while Venus was left, uncelebrated and forgotten with time.

Bibliography. Apuleius. "Cupid and Psyche" Web Source. 

Author's Note: The original story was a lot more violent and Venus was relentless. Everyone also got a happy ending in the original story. Venus was jealous of Psyche and tortured her. But for some reason she decided that if Psyche were immortal she could be with Cupid, so she made Psyche immortal and decided she  somehow wasn't jealous anymore. It wasn't exactly discussed in the story how she got over her jealousy. But she got over it and Psyche and Cupid were married and had a baby named Pleasure. I decided to have Venus turn Cupid into a mortal and kill him instead of the other ending because I liked the idea of a tragic happy ending. I also think it is more realistic of Venus because in the original story she was selfish but randomly turned maternal at the end. I liked the idea of her staying selfish and evil, because I felt the maternal part didn't fit. So Venus kills her own son, however, Cupid and Psyche end up happily every after, because they end up together in their deaths. 

Reading Notes: Cupid and Psyche, Part B

Venus assigning Psyche her tasks.

(Photo by Giordano)

Psyche’s sisters have just betrayed her and taken their own lives. She searches for Cupid who is still recovering from his scorched shoulder. A bird went on to tell Venus that her son has been injured and that he has fallen in love with Psyche, which makes Venus angry.

She finds Cupid and threatens to replace him. Though she cannot have any more children, she will adopt one of her slaves and give him all of Cupid’s powers. She leaves to seek council from Juno and Ceres, who disagree with her. They question her intentions and ask her why she is so angry that her son has fallen in love. They accuse her of blaming anything wrong with her life on Cupid and taking it out on him. She leaves, offended.

Psyche continues to search for Cupid. She cries to Ceres, who denies her because of her relationship with Venus. She prays and prays and Juno appears. Juno wishes she could help Psyche but couldn’t go against Venus, her daughter in law.

Venus went to Jove and requested help from Mercury, the messenger god. She gave him Psyche’s name and a description of her so he can warn others not to take Psyche in and help her. Venus tells him that she is a runaway servant and that there will be a reward for whoever finds her. Mercury obliged and went to spread the message. The idea of a reward sent all men to a competitive frenzy.

Psyche was caught about brought to Venus who snatched her by her hair, Psyche did not resist. Venus assaults her and laughs at her. She hands Psyche over to Anxiety and Sorrow, who beat her and torment her. Venus laughs and threatens the life of Psyche’s unborn child. She beats Psyche more, calling her ugly.

She gives Psyche a number of tasks but the last one is the most important. She sends Psyche on a mission find Pluto’s castle in the underworld. She was instructed to collect a day’s worth of beauty from Proserpine.  A voice tells her if she goes through with jumping, she will not return. He gives her specific instructions on another way to get to Pluto’s castle.

She arrives and Proserpine fills the bottle. Psyche uses the bottle on herself and discovers the bottle didn’t have any beauty in it. It was filled with Stygian sleep. Cupid recovered from his wounds and found his love. He puts the sleep back in the jar and tells Psyche to do as his mother said and he will take care of the rest. Cupid goes to Jupiter, also known as Jove, and asks for his help. Jove agrees as long as he is paid with another “girl of outstanding beauty.”

Jupiter married Cupid and Psyche. They made Psyche immortal which made Venus happy. Psyche finally gives birth to their child, who they named Pleasure.

The story goes back to the young girl who is being held in a chamber and the old lady. Lucius, a human turned donkey escapes from the thieves and attempts to save the captive young girl.

Bibliography. Apuleius. "Cupid and Psyche." Web Source. 

Reading Notes: Cupid and Psyche, Part A

Cupid leaving Psyche after he discovers her plot to kill him. 

(Photo by Wikimedia Commons)

A young girl born of wealth is kidnapped and held for ransom by thieves. She is held up in the cell with an old lady, and Lucius, who is a donkey at the moment, is observing her. She wants to kill herself, but the old lady tries to convince her otherwise, but the girl explains it was her wedding day and she had a dream about being taken. The old lady decides to tell her the story of Cupid and Psyche:

A king and queen had 3 daughters, the eldest two were very beautiful, but the youngest daughter was so beautiful it left people speechless. She was so beautiful that news of her spread all over and she was believed to be the goddess Venus. The people stopped worshipping shrines and stopped celebrating ceremonies for Venus to celebrate the girl. This angered the real Venus. She ordered her son, Cupid, to punish Psyche, which is the name of the beautiful girl.

Psyche on the other hand was offered nothing. While men from all over worshipped her none ever asked for her hand in marriage. She was unhappy with her beauty. Her father worried, asked an Oracle about her fate. Her fate was death. She woke up to a beautiful place that could only be created by gods. She was accompanied by “bodiless voices.” She was married to a man that she could not see but she could feel and hear. He told her she can’t interact with her sisters, but she wept for days and he gave in. He warned her not to take her sisters advice or bad things will happen.

Psyche invited her sisters to her home so she could comfort them and they could stop grieving. She showed them where and how she was living, showered them in treasures, which lead to the sisters growing extremely jealous. They begin comparing their lives to their younger sisters. They both married old men who can’t take care of themselves. They come up with a plan to take revenge on their sister. They beat themselves up to return home to show their parents the so-called horror they had to endure.

Psyche’s husband warns her of something bad coming her way and tells her that she is pregnant and must be careful. He warns her not to listen to anything her sisters say or it will end badly. The sisters return and remind her that the oracle said she was to marry someone awful. She forgets everything her husband tells her and believes her sisters who convince her to kill her husband and advise her on how to do so.

As Psyche was about to kill her husband it was revealed that he was Cupid. She changed her mind, but he found out about her plot and left her. He explained to her how he was sent by his mother to punish her and admitted that coming to her as a lover was a mistake.  She went to her sisters and told them about Cupid. They eagerly committed suicide thinking he would come to the rescue and they would become his wife, but they ended up just dying.

Bibliography. Apuleius. "Cupid and Psyche." Web Source.