Feedback Thoughts

(Photo by Gerd Altmann)

Can you imagine if we never received feedback? We would live in a world of madness. From the moment you're born you are receiving feedback. Adults are constantly teaching you how to act right and how to treat other people. They tell you good job, which is feedback when you finally learn how to use the big kid toilet. Feedback is how you know right from wrong and if anything needs altering. Feedback is everything.

However, while feedback is important, it is still normal to to feel that it is easier to give it rather than than to take feedback. Guy Winch wrote a great article on how to cope with feedback if you don't take criticism well. He basically tells you to know your worth and while others criticize you, do not criticize yourself. I really like the 5 tips for taking feedback. If people took these 5 things into consideration when receiving feedback, I think it will make them stronger. It makes sense though to feel a little stung when you get feedback, especially when you are proud of whatever it is that you're getting criticized on. You  might feel proud and sensitive to admitting flaws. Or even sometimes you might disagree and not think something is flawed and you prefer it the way it is. The best example I can think of is when we have to write scripts in Gaylord. Our teachers will give us suggestions and changes that they think will make our stories better but sometimes you don't always agree that their suggestion will make it better.

In the article, "Be A Mirror," Gravity Goldberg does an excellent job at advising one how to give constructive feedback. You have to be specific, focus on what they're doing, focus on the process, be aware of how you word the feedback, and try to avoid saying "I think." These steps will help the person take criticism, without feeling bad about themselves.

Just like Goldberg's fourth tip says, wording is important when giving feedback. In Maria Popova's article about praise she explains that wording can effect how children develop learning skills that will later translate into adulthood. They took a group of children and gave them math problems. One groups was "praised for their intellect," so for example their feedback would sound like "You're so clever, good job!" The other group was praised on their effort, so their feedback would sound like "Good job, you must have worked so hard!" Because of this, the students that were told they were smart focused more on failing and had a hard time trying new things. The group that was praised for their hard work were more willing to try new things and would take a new approach at solving problems if they reached a dead end.

When giving or receiving feedback you should be vigilant about what you're either saying or hearing. There is such thing as bad feedback, but don't think that anything and everything that gets criticized is bad. But also, when giving feedback have some compassion, it's still a person you are talking to and if you want a job done well, knocking someone down isn't going to help.