Hey Paulina, this is so cute! I think you did a good job with the title because it definitely reflects what you’re trying to talk about! I like how you sounded almost like a host when went to introduce the cast! That is really cool! Your first paragraph is almost like hook that you would see on TV! Some dramatic television commercial that gets you all hooked to watch a show you may not have even seen before! I like how you introduced the people. You gave just enough information to let us know who they are and the big things but not too much that it gives everything away. The whole time I am reading it, I almost envision that they are on some sort of dating show and you are introducing the next dating candidate! Haha! I think the best thing about this introduction is how you said “The Real Housewives of Greek Mythology is set to premier in just one week!” That part cracked me up and it is so suitable to everything you have going on. Good job!
I loved your intro! This idea was so unique and I was cracking up at the comparison. I appreciated how you really took the theme all the way by introducing it with the other shows we all already know and love. You did a great job of drawing the reader in and setting the scene for all the drama by introducing the characters and all their connections to each other. Just by listening to all the ways they are connected, you can tell it is going to be a wild season ha! You could maybe give a sneak peak of the coming episode content..like they do in the commercials once you write your first story to give kind of a tease for your following stories. I found one typo in the last paragraph but other than that it looked great! I am excited to read your stories and watch the drama unfold!
Oh my goodness, I love the introduction! I never was one to watch reality television let alone Real Housewives, but after reading your introduction, I would definitely sit down with a bowl of popcorn and revel in the drama! I liked how you used a roll call of sorts to introduce the ‘housewives’ which sets up the table of contents for the story and is straight to the point about what is going to go down this ‘season.’
I am a little bit of a nerd when it comes to Greek mythology, so I am excited about how you are going to write this storybook! From the introduction, it looks like you are going to stick to the main mythology; however, are you going to change the settings? Are you going to give it a modern twist? Gods basically find out anything that goes down with other gods, but imagining gods and goddess with social media accounts would be absolutely hilarious.
I look forward to watching this season of Real Housewives!
This is so fun- I love the theme you chose for your storybook. Even though I have never seen any episodes from ‘The Real Housewives” series I have seen commercials so I have a pretty good idea of the plot. I like that you chose this theme because it has a narrow focus, but at the same time, still gives you a lot of creative freedom to make your own twists and interpretations on the characters and the plots. I also think it was a great idea to introduce the characters in your introduction. It almost felt like a TV commercial teaser type of thing for the show. You could play off of this idea for the intro and make it even more like a script for a commercial. I am looking forward to reading your stories, so I think that says a lot about your introduction: it definitely has me intrigued!
Hey, nice concept! It's pretty amusing and I like how you managed to tie in the lores of the goddesses in a modern way! The deceptions are especially entertaining in this because they seem so ridiculous. I think instead of hyphens, it might be better to use colons. I haven't seen this show either, but I'm pretty sure it's just drama 24/7, which is great, considering how the gods and goddesses behave sometimes.
Nice use of the script, especially considering that your story is a TV show. You showed how dramatic the family is well, but I think more detail would be nice! You could go more into their thoughts and describe their emotions more in depth. I love how casual Hera was-- no big deal, just messing with the future of your child (like always). I'm very interested in the concept of your story and really enjoy the light-hearted tone in it! It's refreshing, considering that mythology can be so dark.
I love this idea! It is so unique and could go in so many directions since Greek mythology is full of drama. I think you made a great choice in focusing on it as a tv show. I think you could do a little better with the first paragraph of the introduction. Perhaps you could set up the Real Housewives of Greek Mythology and give a little more background on the whole program. I also think it could be cool if you also called them Real Housewives of Olympus (you're totally allowed to not listen to me, this is your creativity here). Also in the introduction, I'm guessing what you've written in each character's introduction is what you'll talk about. I like the tone you have for the narrator. I would actually like to know who the narrator is. Is it the host? That voice that narrates a commercial? If it's a host, maybe you could make that clear and introduce them. That would definitely help give it a reality show feel. But I really like how you've set up your story so far. So in your first story, so far, I like the direction you're going in. I got a little lost through the first story, though. I would actually really like for you to narrate these stories, because I got really excited when you began your dialogue, and I was disappointed when it ended. I think, even though you definitely showed how dramatic the family is, there's a lot going on and you could condense it. So, no matter which direction you would like to go with the story, I would like to see you go more in depth with the story. Im really excited to read what else you come up with! It's going to be awesome!
Hi Amanda, thanks for the feedback! I actually considered titling it "Real Housewives of Olympus," but I didn't know if it would have been appropriate because they don't all actually live in Olympus. I love the idea though and let me know if you have any other ideas for a title!
Hey Paulina! Seriously this is so so so good! I watch the real housewives of Beverly Hills and love all of the stupid drama that it shows so I was super excited to read your intro and story! I love the way you are writing it, including the story names as episodes! I am so impressed how true to the show it is coming off as! I can seriously hear Kyle Richards introducing all of them at the beginning of "last time on.." and the opening credits with all of the god housewives in their dramatic dresses and poses! I think it is a great idea that you did your story as a summary of the "first episode" and that you combined many stories to get them all across at once and create a good starting point! I cannot wait to read the rest of your episodes and get to hear all of the drama!
Thanks Molly! I actually wanted the intro to be a photo of each housewife with their "saying," but I figured it would be confusing for those who don't watch the show.
Hi Paulina! First thought: since you draw parallels to the Real Housewives of New York City, New Jersey, and Atlanta, it might work better to title your storybook "The Real Housewives of Olympus" to keep withe location reference. I loved your blurbs about each of the goddesses, especially the one about Persephone. I could definitely see that being something brought up in a Real Housewives type of show. I also think you did a good job of balancing their personalities to provide a diverse ensemble for your storybook. One thing I am left unsure about after reading the intro is how the stories will play out. They all seem like they will be independent stories, but I know a big feature of the Real Housewives shows are the fact that the women interact with each other.
Going into the first story, I'm really glad who intersected the characters. I think that is going to really allow your creativity to shine. As for the storytelling method, is the goal to give a recap? I expected more of a scene-like story from the perspective of a omniscient narrator rather than a second-hand story.
Overall, I think you are doing a good job of finding how to write in the drama, and I think you made a great choice in intersecting the characters!
Hi thanks so much for your feedback! I totally thought about doing "Real Housewives of Olympus," but I didn't know if it would work since technically, they don't all live there. And yes, I wrote this more like a blog/recap (think Perez Hilton), but I might change it to script format! Thanks again!
Wow Paulina, I think your storybook is so cool!! I'm in the Indian Epics course, so I was just operating off my basic knowledge of the Greek gods, and your story was so cool, creative, and easy to follow! I love the Real Housewives, and your story seems like a very feasible episode. I like how your story was written as a script. That also made all of the converging dialogue easy to discern. My only suggestion would be to maybe add a few photos. I know that would be difficult to add into the script, but maybe you could add a small play-by-play at the bottom or top (to maybe sum it up or give the reader a flavor of what is to come in the episode). Overall wonderful job!
I really enjoyed your story! I liked the premise that you went with your entire storybook! Overall your story didn’t seem to have many errors, but I think that there were a few sentences that could be rewritten for clarity. Under the “INT. POSEIDON AND AMPHITRITE’S HOUSE – NEXT DAY” the descriptions could be stated in a way that makes more sense to the reader. The sentence describing Amphitrite seemed to be one long sentence. I think it would be better if you broke it up into smaller sentences. For the Hade’s sentence, you need to add a comma after “tricked her” or think about rewriting it all together. Lastly for Zeus’ sentence, you need to add a comma after “get away with it”. That should make the sentences flow better. I enjoyed how you wrote the story in the style of a script. I thought that that was a very creative idea and very unique too!
Great job on this story! I remembered reading your introduction, so I was excited to read your first story. I loved your use of font and the format. You really made it feel like we were in an episode of Real Housewives! What exactly does "looking like a hideous beach," mean? I was just a little unclear on that. The description of Amphitrite was hilarious and gave a very clear visual. There is a typo in the sentence "You better be here of Zeus" -- I think you meant "or Zeus" instead of "of Zeus." I love the drama at the end that unfolds at the dinner party. You did a great job of leaving a cliffhanger for the next episode. It is interesting how everyone is connected to each other and it just adds to the drama and the feeling that you can't trust anyone but yourself. I can just see the camera zooming in on everyone's faces to catch their reactions.
Hey Paulina! I really enjoyed reading your story! I typically like reading Greek mythology, but it is usually pretty dry and hard to read. Your story brought so much excitement and entertainment. I really enjoyed how you introduced the characters in the intro. Most readers would already know most of the characters, but you introduce them in such a way that the whole mood of the storybook are set and understood. When I got to the "First Episode" I couldn't find your story. Then I realized it was the text that looked like a playwright! I thought that was so creative and I really enjoyed how you made the whole thing feel like a reality TV series! I would suggest moving the story above the Author's note though. I don't know if that was just my computer, but it was a little hard to find. Overall, I love your storybook and the theme! I'm excited to keep reading as you write more!
Hey Paulina! I really liked your story! I found that I thoroughly enjoyed the screenplay format that you chose for the story as well! I could really imagine each scene in my head. I have never actually watched any Real Housewives show but I might need to start now. I found that your story was incredibly creative and I am super excited to read more! I will be waiting for your updates! Good luck to you and I look forward to keeping updated on your storybook!
Hey Paulina! What an interesting and dramatic storybook topic! Haha. I was scrolling through the various storybooks looking for my extra storybook choice and I chose yours! I love Greek mythology and my fiancé watches all those Real Housewives dramas, so I figured why not check your storybook out! Your Intro was on point. You did a great job of explaining who your characters were going to be and what your stories were going to be about. No complaints at all. For your stories, your choice of writing style caught me off guard at first. I had trouble understanding how to read the script directions (if that's what they're called). It wasn't until the second story when it popped into my head that "Athena Talking Head" was probably the image of Athena talking over the phone to whoever. Other than that, everything else was understandable. I think you're doing a great job on building up the drama between all the characters. I especially like how the husbands are trying to stay out of the drama, even though they are the root of the problem. Nice story!
Hi John, thanks for reading! Just so you know a "talking head" is just the person sitting alone talking the camera (aka audience) about what's going on and what's on their mind! Kind of like in mockumentaries like "The Office" and "Modern Family" or in pretty much any reality show! I'm glad you brought this up though, I totally forgot not everyone knows how to read script format! Thanks (:
Wow your storybook is so interesting! I'm actually taking Indian Epics but I couldn't help but stop by to Myth-Folklore to read your storybook! I really like that you decided to write it in a play/drama format rather than just a simple story. This way, it really does feel like a TV show! Your introduction with the little comments about each "housewife" and her current situation was super a nice touch and provided a little bit of background to the story while also leaving room for you to be creative about what you wanted to write about. I also thought it was interesting that you decided to use screenshots/images for your text, is there a reason as to why you chose to do so? Was it just formatting issues? I'm curious. All in all, your story is progressing amazingly and I can't wait to stop by to read the rest of it!
I was going to just write it as a "recap" like some famous bloggers do, but Laura suggested since it was a a TV show that a write it in a script format and I thought it was a great idea! Thanks for reading (:
So, let me start off by saying that I'm actually in the Indian Epics course and when I saw the storybooks for the Myth-Folklore class, I was very intrigued by your storybook and decided to read it!
I enjoyed the descriptions of each of the characters in your introduction, it was definitely helpful to learn a little bit about each of the characters and also gain some insight into their backstories. Since the backstories of each of the characters is a tad bit complicated, it might be helpful to be a little bit more specific when describing their family tree. Or, even provide a visual family tree so that your readers could better understand the characters. I did enjoy that you added little details about your observations about each character too. Overall, your introduction was great and I am really excited to read the rest of your storybook!
I remembered reading your story last time and I really enjoyed the way you told the stories and how it's like a reality TV show! I was excited to see you had added a new episode to your story and couldn't wait to read it! Now I can't wait to read the next one! I love how you kept the characters' personalities consistent from scene to scene. I also like how Hera is known as the crazy lady that no one wants to mess with. I am a little worried for Amphitrite and what will happen to her once Hera learns that she is behind Eileithyia's escape and the twins' birth. I like that you are explaining the original story in your author's note, but if you are planning on sticking to the story, I recommend not telling the plot and outcome until you've told your story. Also, I love that you left the story on a cliffhanger just like all the reality TV shows do! This is definitely such an entertaining story and I'm excited to see how it develops!
Hi, Paulina! Wow, you did such a fantastic job with this story! I have personally never seen Real Housewives, but boy, do I want to see it now! I was cracking up the whole time and think your use of the script style of writing was very effective, especially for reminding readers that this is a dramatic reality TV show. I loved your incorporation of the gods' personalities and pettiness during the dinner party! You did such a good job of sticking with the character's original plots and simply intertwining them. What a good idea to keep them all interrelated either by friendship, family, or drama! I absolutely loved when Amphitrite and Persephone's jaws dropped after Hera kidnapped the goddess of childbirth. I actually laughed out loud picturing how hilarious that would be on TV and could vividly imagine it. I'm assuming that's what "talking heads" means when referring to the interviews? I also loved when Athena said "oh my gods"! What clever little nuances. My only suggestion is for the formatting of the script style of the story! The font size was a little difficult to read so it would be neat to see it fill up more of the page! Also, several more images with possibly some modern day aspects would supplement the story as well. Overall, fantastic job with a creative and hilarious story! I really enjoyed reading and can't wait to check back in for more!
Great Story book so far! I'm really getting the Housewives of ... feel! here are some suggestions I have: 3. page second story athena says "dount it" intead of "doubt it". I like the idea of doing it like a script but there is a bit of writing lingo that I do not understand and really pushes me from really grasping the story. The conversations are great but you might want to add more detail into the story. Like, describing the setting they are in and having people walk in/out of scenes, which you sort of do. I think if you add more imagery into the story it will help with following the script. Other than that, the stories sound great and I liking all the drama that’s happening! I can’t wait to see how you add more drama into the story and where the story is going to end! Good luck!
Hi Paulina! Right from the intro I thought your idea was super cute and fun. I loved how you gave rundowns from the women's perspectives and didn't give away major plot points but hinted at drama. I especially loved your line about the cuckoo bird working for Hera. Super clever and hilarious too. I was surprised upon reading the first episode that it was in script format, but after reading it, it really worked the best for what you wanted to do. I loved how you worked in all the talking head scenes, and I laughed far too many times reading it. As for the second episode, I still loved the witty dialogue. I really like the relationship between Persephone and Athena because it produces some of the best scenes and shows the most behind-the-scenes kind of thing. Overall, I think your idea is super fun, and I'm very excited to come back and read more episodes.
Hi Paulina! I’m from the Indian Epics course, and wow. Oh my gosh - wow. I love your storybook, theme, and content! The way you set everything up in a script too, it really adds to the theme and it especially makes it easier to visualize your stories! Growing up, I loved watching Desperate Housewives AND reading Greek Mythology, so I really understand the angle that you took with your storybook. It was always confusing to me how many gods had different goddess wives… You’d think one powerful goddess would be enough! I really appreciated your introduction as well as your character selection. I think everything has really come along nicely, I only wonder, what if you modernized the storybook itself and gave it more color or pizazz like you’d expect from say, the decor in a home from these housewives? It’s just a silly suggestion to liven up your site - I really have no other suggestions! Great writing and story!
Hey Paulina! First of all great idea and theme! The way your structured everything seems fits perfectly for imaging your stories to be a series. However one note, if you could increase the font size because at times it became hard to read however it is still a unique and interesting approach to story! I can also see the relation between greek gods and goddesses and desperate housewives and it's great that you combined the two! Also I enjoyed reading the author's note because you explained really well the original story for your readers to establish what differences you had made. Overall, the story was very well written and structured. Great job!
Hey Paulina! I love the theme you chose for your storybook. I'm all about gossip and drama, so I thought you made it so relatable to our day and age. I am not super familiar with Greek mythology, so I tried my best to follow along. I also loved how you were able to set your storybook up like an actual script. I can tell you do a lot of writing and that you put a lot of thought in how you wanted to set everything up together. You had a very good consistency throughout your storybook with being descriptive and keeping me wanting to know what happens in each different episode. Did you ever think about trying to write the stories like people would have spoken at that time instead of more modernized? (I like it the way it is, but just a thought!) One thing that could be seen as confusing is switching to different episodes so often, but I don't see it too much of a problem. Keep up the great work! I can't wait to read more episodes to find out what happens.
I was excited to read your second story, after reading the first one! I love that you employed the talking heads because it is such a crucial aspect of real housewives. It allows them talk trash on whomever they want, without specifically doing it to their face. You did a great job with the little details that helped to convey the personalities of the characters, like the comment about Hera filing her nails. I love that your stories take the pettiness and drama to a whole other level because we are dealing with gods and goddesses, but at the same time they are still relatable because we all have relationship conflicts. So is Leto the home wrecker that Hera is referring to? You do a great job with the cliffhangers and I like that you have employed that strategy because it really makes me eager to see what Hera is going to do next!
Hi Pauline! I'm glad to get to check out your storybook again -- there are two new stories for me to read! First of all, I love the scripts you made for the story! I think this added a really nice touch to make it feel like an actual television show. Great job thinking to do that! It is also a creative way to provide details in a way that makes sense to give so much to the reader.
Reading your second story, I was really impressed with how you weaved classic details from Greek myths into this story! I also like how Athena and Persephone are constantly talking on the phone. It reminds of me of a stereotypical relationship between two sisters -- even my two sisters.
Going to the second story, I was sad to see it was the last story (clever idea to name it the season finale), but I get that we are limited on how much we can write. I like that you took enough creative freedom in writing these stories. It kind of like how television does not accurately reflect the real world.
Overall, awesome job! This is a well-crafted project!
I remember reading your introduction, so I am excited that I have gotten to read all the way to your season finale! I love how the twins Hera was dreading even being born start causing immediate drama by killing her python. You do a great job of acknowledging both of Athena’s personality traits, the war and the wit, with her talking head comments. Referring to your description of Hera, I wonder if this event, the twins being born, will finally be the one to make Hera snap and lose it all. I feel bad for Leto in all of this. She is on the run with her two children and cannot rely on Zeus when this is a situation that he helped put her in. I am glad it had a somewhat happy ending! I can only imagine the tension when Leto, Artemis, and Apollo walked into that house. Great job on your entire storybook!
I really liked the idea behind your story book. I think that it is really fun and unique. I have never seen any of the housewives tv shows, but I am sure that the Greek mythological wives would fit right in. They are all surrounded by so much drama. I like the style that you used to write your story. I think that making it look like a script was really fun and cool. I did have a problem with the execution of your story in a few places. I don’t think that you need to reintroduce your characters every time they come back into the story. In each story when you have a character speak for the first time you introduce them with the same sentences that you used in your introduction page. It gets really repetitive very quickly, and I just skip over that part of the paragraph. I think that if you want to reintroduce them at least use different facts every time, instead of just copying and pasting. In the last story when you bring in Poseidon and his wife, that whole paragraph makes no sense, I think you copied your sentences wrong.
I absolutely love your story! The Housewife idea and the drama is so funny! I love that you wrote it like a script! It really makes it seem realistic! I almost feel like I am actually watching a reality TV show! I love the cut to ______ talking head and us getting to see each character's point of view and what they're actually thinking! I really enjoy Poseidon and Amphitrite! I like that they are actually a happy couple and they are decent people! I think the other characters are overly dramatic, but they make the story so much more fun! The ending was so abrupt and not too dramatic! I expected it to be so much more of a climactic ending! It was still good, and I enjoyed reading your story! Overall, your story was one of my favorites because it was so light hearted and fun to read! I really enjoyed the housewife reality TV show twist you had on the story!
Hey Paulina! I really like the way your storybook is set up. Your introduction really captures the audience and from what I can tell through the other comments, I am not the only one that feels that way! My only advice would be to maybe read and re-read and re-read again because I have noticed there are a few typos that you could have easily caught if you read through it. I only know that because I am the exact same way! Typo’s can ruin a wonderfully thought out story. I am queen of them! Great job on everything you have accomplished this semester. I truly think your writing style is something to be proud of and something that you really honed along the way. Good luck with your writing after this class and I hope that you remember your skills of drawing the readers into your story – something you are really good at. Erin
Paulina! Your title for your storybook is the first thing that caught my attention. I thought that it sounded really interesting so I decided to read more about it. I think that your introduction is really well done and does a great job of explaining more about what your storybook is about and also keeps it really interesting. I also read a couple of your stories. I think that they could be expanded by just doing a little bit of close reading, but overall I think they are well done! I think that you have a really great writing style and that you do a good job of keeping the stories relevant to your storybook theme. I am always interested in learning more about greek mythology because I think it's so interesting and kind of silly that people used to believe such stories to be true. But I think that your storybook brings something to greek mythology that makes it so much more interesting to read! I think that you did an excellent job with your storybook and think that it is a great compilation of stories tied together with the introduction that does a great job of bringing the readers in.
.jpg)
.jpg){kind=link}
Comment.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey Paulina, this is so cute! I think you did a good job with the title because it definitely reflects what you’re trying to talk about! I like how you sounded almost like a host when went to introduce the cast! That is really cool! Your first paragraph is almost like hook that you would see on TV! Some dramatic television commercial that gets you all hooked to watch a show you may not have even seen before!
ReplyDeleteI like how you introduced the people. You gave just enough information to let us know who they are and the big things but not too much that it gives everything away. The whole time I am reading it, I almost envision that they are on some sort of dating show and you are introducing the next dating candidate! Haha!
I think the best thing about this introduction is how you said “The Real Housewives of Greek Mythology is set to premier in just one week!” That part cracked me up and it is so suitable to everything you have going on. Good job!
I loved your intro! This idea was so unique and I was cracking up at the comparison. I appreciated how you really took the theme all the way by introducing it with the other shows we all already know and love. You did a great job of drawing the reader in and setting the scene for all the drama by introducing the characters and all their connections to each other. Just by listening to all the ways they are connected, you can tell it is going to be a wild season ha! You could maybe give a sneak peak of the coming episode content..like they do in the commercials once you write your first story to give kind of a tease for your following stories. I found one typo in the last paragraph but other than that it looked great! I am excited to read your stories and watch the drama unfold!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, I love the introduction! I never was one to watch reality television let alone Real Housewives, but after reading your introduction, I would definitely sit down with a bowl of popcorn and revel in the drama! I liked how you used a roll call of sorts to introduce the ‘housewives’ which sets up the table of contents for the story and is straight to the point about what is going to go down this ‘season.’
ReplyDeleteI am a little bit of a nerd when it comes to Greek mythology, so I am excited about how you are going to write this storybook! From the introduction, it looks like you are going to stick to the main mythology; however, are you going to change the settings? Are you going to give it a modern twist? Gods basically find out anything that goes down with other gods, but imagining gods and goddess with social media accounts would be absolutely hilarious.
I look forward to watching this season of Real Housewives!
Hi Paulina!
ReplyDeleteThis is so fun- I love the theme you chose for your storybook. Even though I have never seen any episodes from ‘The Real Housewives” series I have seen commercials so I have a pretty good idea of the plot. I like that you chose this theme because it has a narrow focus, but at the same time, still gives you a lot of creative freedom to make your own twists and interpretations on the characters and the plots. I also think it was a great idea to introduce the characters in your introduction. It almost felt like a TV commercial teaser type of thing for the show. You could play off of this idea for the intro and make it even more like a script for a commercial. I am looking forward to reading your stories, so I think that says a lot about your introduction: it definitely has me intrigued!
Hey, nice concept! It's pretty amusing and I like how you managed to tie in the lores of the goddesses in a modern way! The deceptions are especially entertaining in this because they seem so ridiculous. I think instead of hyphens, it might be better to use colons. I haven't seen this show either, but I'm pretty sure it's just drama 24/7, which is great, considering how the gods and goddesses behave sometimes.
ReplyDeleteNice use of the script, especially considering that your story is a TV show. You showed how dramatic the family is well, but I think more detail would be nice! You could go more into their thoughts and describe their emotions more in depth. I love how casual Hera was-- no big deal, just messing with the future of your child (like always). I'm very interested in the concept of your story and really enjoy the light-hearted tone in it! It's refreshing, considering that mythology can be so dark.
Good job!
I love this idea! It is so unique and could go in so many directions since Greek mythology is full of drama. I think you made a great choice in focusing on it as a tv show. I think you could do a little better with the first paragraph of the introduction. Perhaps you could set up the Real Housewives of Greek Mythology and give a little more background on the whole program. I also think it could be cool if you also called them Real Housewives of Olympus (you're totally allowed to not listen to me, this is your creativity here). Also in the introduction, I'm guessing what you've written in each character's introduction is what you'll talk about. I like the tone you have for the narrator. I would actually like to know who the narrator is. Is it the host? That voice that narrates a commercial? If it's a host, maybe you could make that clear and introduce them. That would definitely help give it a reality show feel. But I really like how you've set up your story so far.
ReplyDeleteSo in your first story, so far, I like the direction you're going in. I got a little lost through the first story, though. I would actually really like for you to narrate these stories, because I got really excited when you began your dialogue, and I was disappointed when it ended. I think, even though you definitely showed how dramatic the family is, there's a lot going on and you could condense it. So, no matter which direction you would like to go with the story, I would like to see you go more in depth with the story. Im really excited to read what else you come up with! It's going to be awesome!
Hi Amanda, thanks for the feedback! I actually considered titling it "Real Housewives of Olympus," but I didn't know if it would have been appropriate because they don't all actually live in Olympus. I love the idea though and let me know if you have any other ideas for a title!
DeleteHey Paulina! Seriously this is so so so good! I watch the real housewives of Beverly Hills and love all of the stupid drama that it shows so I was super excited to read your intro and story! I love the way you are writing it, including the story names as episodes! I am so impressed how true to the show it is coming off as! I can seriously hear Kyle Richards introducing all of them at the beginning of "last time on.." and the opening credits with all of the god housewives in their dramatic dresses and poses! I think it is a great idea that you did your story as a summary of the "first episode" and that you combined many stories to get them all across at once and create a good starting point! I cannot wait to read the rest of your episodes and get to hear all of the drama!
ReplyDeleteThanks Molly! I actually wanted the intro to be a photo of each housewife with their "saying," but I figured it would be confusing for those who don't watch the show.
DeleteHi Paulina! First thought: since you draw parallels to the Real Housewives of New York City, New Jersey, and Atlanta, it might work better to title your storybook "The Real Housewives of Olympus" to keep withe location reference. I loved your blurbs about each of the goddesses, especially the one about Persephone. I could definitely see that being something brought up in a Real Housewives type of show. I also think you did a good job of balancing their personalities to provide a diverse ensemble for your storybook. One thing I am left unsure about after reading the intro is how the stories will play out. They all seem like they will be independent stories, but I know a big feature of the Real Housewives shows are the fact that the women interact with each other.
ReplyDeleteGoing into the first story, I'm really glad who intersected the characters. I think that is going to really allow your creativity to shine. As for the storytelling method, is the goal to give a recap? I expected more of a scene-like story from the perspective of a omniscient narrator rather than a second-hand story.
Overall, I think you are doing a good job of finding how to write in the drama, and I think you made a great choice in intersecting the characters!
Hi thanks so much for your feedback! I totally thought about doing "Real Housewives of Olympus," but I didn't know if it would work since technically, they don't all live there. And yes, I wrote this more like a blog/recap (think Perez Hilton), but I might change it to script format! Thanks again!
DeleteWow Paulina, I think your storybook is so cool!! I'm in the Indian Epics course, so I was just operating off my basic knowledge of the Greek gods, and your story was so cool, creative, and easy to follow! I love the Real Housewives, and your story seems like a very feasible episode. I like how your story was written as a script. That also made all of the converging dialogue easy to discern. My only suggestion would be to maybe add a few photos. I know that would be difficult to add into the script, but maybe you could add a small play-by-play at the bottom or top (to maybe sum it up or give the reader a flavor of what is to come in the episode). Overall wonderful job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story! I liked the premise that you went with your entire storybook! Overall your story didn’t seem to have many errors, but I think that there were a few sentences that could be rewritten for clarity. Under the “INT. POSEIDON AND AMPHITRITE’S HOUSE – NEXT DAY” the descriptions could be stated in a way that makes more sense to the reader. The sentence describing Amphitrite seemed to be one long sentence. I think it would be better if you broke it up into smaller sentences. For the Hade’s sentence, you need to add a comma after “tricked her” or think about rewriting it all together. Lastly for Zeus’ sentence, you need to add a comma after “get away with it”. That should make the sentences flow better. I enjoyed how you wrote the story in the style of a script. I thought that that was a very creative idea and very unique too!
ReplyDeleteGreat job on this story! I remembered reading your introduction, so I was excited to read your first story. I loved your use of font and the format. You really made it feel like we were in an episode of Real Housewives! What exactly does "looking like a hideous beach," mean? I was just a little unclear on that. The description of Amphitrite was hilarious and gave a very clear visual. There is a typo in the sentence "You better be here of Zeus" -- I think you meant "or Zeus" instead of "of Zeus." I love the drama at the end that unfolds at the dinner party. You did a great job of leaving a cliffhanger for the next episode. It is interesting how everyone is connected to each other and it just adds to the drama and the feeling that you can't trust anyone but yourself. I can just see the camera zooming in on everyone's faces to catch their reactions.
ReplyDeleteHey Paulina! I really enjoyed reading your story! I typically like reading Greek mythology, but it is usually pretty dry and hard to read. Your story brought so much excitement and entertainment. I really enjoyed how you introduced the characters in the intro. Most readers would already know most of the characters, but you introduce them in such a way that the whole mood of the storybook are set and understood.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got to the "First Episode" I couldn't find your story. Then I realized it was the text that looked like a playwright! I thought that was so creative and I really enjoyed how you made the whole thing feel like a reality TV series! I would suggest moving the story above the Author's note though. I don't know if that was just my computer, but it was a little hard to find.
Overall, I love your storybook and the theme! I'm excited to keep reading as you write more!
Hey Paulina! I really liked your story! I found that I thoroughly enjoyed the screenplay format that you chose for the story as well! I could really imagine each scene in my head. I have never actually watched any Real Housewives show but I might need to start now. I found that your story was incredibly creative and I am super excited to read more! I will be waiting for your updates! Good luck to you and I look forward to keeping updated on your storybook!
ReplyDeleteHey Paulina! What an interesting and dramatic storybook topic! Haha. I was scrolling through the various storybooks looking for my extra storybook choice and I chose yours! I love Greek mythology and my fiancé watches all those Real Housewives dramas, so I figured why not check your storybook out!
ReplyDeleteYour Intro was on point. You did a great job of explaining who your characters were going to be and what your stories were going to be about. No complaints at all. For your stories, your choice of writing style caught me off guard at first. I had trouble understanding how to read the script directions (if that's what they're called). It wasn't until the second story when it popped into my head that "Athena Talking Head" was probably the image of Athena talking over the phone to whoever. Other than that, everything else was understandable. I think you're doing a great job on building up the drama between all the characters. I especially like how the husbands are trying to stay out of the drama, even though they are the root of the problem. Nice story!
Hi John, thanks for reading! Just so you know a "talking head" is just the person sitting alone talking the camera (aka audience) about what's going on and what's on their mind! Kind of like in mockumentaries like "The Office" and "Modern Family" or in pretty much any reality show! I'm glad you brought this up though, I totally forgot not everyone knows how to read script format! Thanks (:
DeleteHi Paulina!
ReplyDeleteWow your storybook is so interesting! I'm actually taking Indian Epics but I couldn't help but stop by to Myth-Folklore to read your storybook! I really like that you decided to write it in a play/drama format rather than just a simple story. This way, it really does feel like a TV show! Your introduction with the little comments about each "housewife" and her current situation was super a nice touch and provided a little bit of background to the story while also leaving room for you to be creative about what you wanted to write about. I also thought it was interesting that you decided to use screenshots/images for your text, is there a reason as to why you chose to do so? Was it just formatting issues? I'm curious. All in all, your story is progressing amazingly and I can't wait to stop by to read the rest of it!
I was going to just write it as a "recap" like some famous bloggers do, but Laura suggested since it was a a TV show that a write it in a script format and I thought it was a great idea! Thanks for reading (:
DeleteHey Paulina!
ReplyDeleteSo, let me start off by saying that I'm actually in the Indian Epics course and when I saw the storybooks for the Myth-Folklore class, I was very intrigued by your storybook and decided to read it!
I enjoyed the descriptions of each of the characters in your introduction, it was definitely helpful to learn a little bit about each of the characters and also gain some insight into their backstories. Since the backstories of each of the characters is a tad bit complicated, it might be helpful to be a little bit more specific when describing their family tree. Or, even provide a visual family tree so that your readers could better understand the characters. I did enjoy that you added little details about your observations about each character too. Overall, your introduction was great and I am really excited to read the rest of your storybook!
Hey Paulina!
ReplyDeleteI remembered reading your story last time and I really enjoyed the way you told the stories and how it's like a reality TV show! I was excited to see you had added a new episode to your story and couldn't wait to read it! Now I can't wait to read the next one! I love how you kept the characters' personalities consistent from scene to scene. I also like how Hera is known as the crazy lady that no one wants to mess with. I am a little worried for Amphitrite and what will happen to her once Hera learns that she is behind Eileithyia's escape and the twins' birth. I like that you are explaining the original story in your author's note, but if you are planning on sticking to the story, I recommend not telling the plot and outcome until you've told your story.
Also, I love that you left the story on a cliffhanger just like all the reality TV shows do! This is definitely such an entertaining story and I'm excited to see how it develops!
Hi, Paulina! Wow, you did such a fantastic job with this story! I have personally never seen Real Housewives, but boy, do I want to see it now! I was cracking up the whole time and think your use of the script style of writing was very effective, especially for reminding readers that this is a dramatic reality TV show.
ReplyDeleteI loved your incorporation of the gods' personalities and pettiness during the dinner party! You did such a good job of sticking with the character's original plots and simply intertwining them. What a good idea to keep them all interrelated either by friendship, family, or drama!
I absolutely loved when Amphitrite and Persephone's jaws dropped after Hera kidnapped the goddess of childbirth. I actually laughed out loud picturing how hilarious that would be on TV and could vividly imagine it. I'm assuming that's what "talking heads" means when referring to the interviews? I also loved when Athena said "oh my gods"! What clever little nuances.
My only suggestion is for the formatting of the script style of the story! The font size was a little difficult to read so it would be neat to see it fill up more of the page! Also, several more images with possibly some modern day aspects would supplement the story as well.
Overall, fantastic job with a creative and hilarious story! I really enjoyed reading and can't wait to check back in for more!
Great Story book so far! I'm really getting the Housewives of ... feel! here are some suggestions I have:
ReplyDelete3. page second story athena says "dount it" intead of "doubt it".
I like the idea of doing it like a script but there is a bit of writing lingo that I do not understand and really pushes me from really grasping the story. The conversations are great but you might want to add more detail into the story. Like, describing the setting they are in and having people walk in/out of scenes, which you sort of do. I think if you add more imagery into the story it will help with following the script. Other than that, the stories sound great and I liking all the drama that’s happening! I can’t wait to see how you add more drama into the story and where the story is going to end! Good luck!
Hi Paulina! Right from the intro I thought your idea was super cute and fun. I loved how you gave rundowns from the women's perspectives and didn't give away major plot points but hinted at drama. I especially loved your line about the cuckoo bird working for Hera. Super clever and hilarious too.
ReplyDeleteI was surprised upon reading the first episode that it was in script format, but after reading it, it really worked the best for what you wanted to do. I loved how you worked in all the talking head scenes, and I laughed far too many times reading it.
As for the second episode, I still loved the witty dialogue. I really like the relationship between Persephone and Athena because it produces some of the best scenes and shows the most behind-the-scenes kind of thing.
Overall, I think your idea is super fun, and I'm very excited to come back and read more episodes.
Hi Paulina! I’m from the Indian Epics course, and wow. Oh my gosh - wow. I love your storybook, theme, and content! The way you set everything up in a script too, it really adds to the theme and it especially makes it easier to visualize your stories! Growing up, I loved watching Desperate Housewives AND reading Greek Mythology, so I really understand the angle that you took with your storybook. It was always confusing to me how many gods had different goddess wives… You’d think one powerful goddess would be enough! I really appreciated your introduction as well as your character selection. I think everything has really come along nicely, I only wonder, what if you modernized the storybook itself and gave it more color or pizazz like you’d expect from say, the decor in a home from these housewives? It’s just a silly suggestion to liven up your site - I really have no other suggestions! Great writing and story!
ReplyDeleteHey Paulina! First of all great idea and theme! The way your structured everything seems fits perfectly for imaging your stories to be a series. However one note, if you could increase the font size because at times it became hard to read however it is still a unique and interesting approach to story! I can also see the relation between greek gods and goddesses and desperate housewives and it's great that you combined the two! Also I enjoyed reading the author's note because you explained really well the original story for your readers to establish what differences you had made. Overall, the story was very well written and structured. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Paulina!
ReplyDeleteI love the theme you chose for your storybook. I'm all about gossip and drama, so I thought you made it so relatable to our day and age. I am not super familiar with Greek mythology, so I tried my best to follow along. I also loved how you were able to set your storybook up like an actual script. I can tell you do a lot of writing and that you put a lot of thought in how you wanted to set everything up together. You had a very good consistency throughout your storybook with being descriptive and keeping me wanting to know what happens in each different episode. Did you ever think about trying to write the stories like people would have spoken at that time instead of more modernized? (I like it the way it is, but just a thought!) One thing that could be seen as confusing is switching to different episodes so often, but I don't see it too much of a problem. Keep up the great work! I can't wait to read more episodes to find out what happens.
I was excited to read your second story, after reading the first one! I love that you employed the talking heads because it is such a crucial aspect of real housewives. It allows them talk trash on whomever they want, without specifically doing it to their face. You did a great job with the little details that helped to convey the personalities of the characters, like the comment about Hera filing her nails. I love that your stories take the pettiness and drama to a whole other level because we are dealing with gods and goddesses, but at the same time they are still relatable because we all have relationship conflicts. So is Leto the home wrecker that Hera is referring to? You do a great job with the cliffhangers and I like that you have employed that strategy because it really makes me eager to see what Hera is going to do next!
ReplyDeleteHi Pauline! I'm glad to get to check out your storybook again -- there are two new stories for me to read! First of all, I love the scripts you made for the story! I think this added a really nice touch to make it feel like an actual television show. Great job thinking to do that! It is also a creative way to provide details in a way that makes sense to give so much to the reader.
ReplyDeleteReading your second story, I was really impressed with how you weaved classic details from Greek myths into this story! I also like how Athena and Persephone are constantly talking on the phone. It reminds of me of a stereotypical relationship between two sisters -- even my two sisters.
Going to the second story, I was sad to see it was the last story (clever idea to name it the season finale), but I get that we are limited on how much we can write. I like that you took enough creative freedom in writing these stories. It kind of like how television does not accurately reflect the real world.
Overall, awesome job! This is a well-crafted project!
I remember reading your introduction, so I am excited that I have gotten to read all the way to your season finale! I love how the twins Hera was dreading even being born start causing immediate drama by killing her python. You do a great job of acknowledging both of Athena’s personality traits, the war and the wit, with her talking head comments. Referring to your description of Hera, I wonder if this event, the twins being born, will finally be the one to make Hera snap and lose it all. I feel bad for Leto in all of this. She is on the run with her two children and cannot rely on Zeus when this is a situation that he helped put her in. I am glad it had a somewhat happy ending! I can only imagine the tension when Leto, Artemis, and Apollo walked into that house. Great job on your entire storybook!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the idea behind your story book. I think that it is really fun and unique. I have never seen any of the housewives tv shows, but I am sure that the Greek mythological wives would fit right in. They are all surrounded by so much drama. I like the style that you used to write your story. I think that making it look like a script was really fun and cool. I did have a problem with the execution of your story in a few places. I don’t think that you need to reintroduce your characters every time they come back into the story. In each story when you have a character speak for the first time you introduce them with the same sentences that you used in your introduction page. It gets really repetitive very quickly, and I just skip over that part of the paragraph. I think that if you want to reintroduce them at least use different facts every time, instead of just copying and pasting. In the last story when you bring in Poseidon and his wife, that whole paragraph makes no sense, I think you copied your sentences wrong.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your story! The Housewife idea and the drama is so funny! I love that you wrote it like a script! It really makes it seem realistic! I almost feel like I am actually watching a reality TV show! I love the cut to ______ talking head and us getting to see each character's point of view and what they're actually thinking!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy Poseidon and Amphitrite! I like that they are actually a happy couple and they are decent people! I think the other characters are overly dramatic, but they make the story so much more fun!
The ending was so abrupt and not too dramatic! I expected it to be so much more of a climactic ending! It was still good, and I enjoyed reading your story!
Overall, your story was one of my favorites because it was so light hearted and fun to read! I really enjoyed the housewife reality TV show twist you had on the story!
Hey Paulina!
ReplyDeleteI really like the way your storybook is set up. Your introduction really captures the audience and from what I can tell through the other comments, I am not the only one that feels that way! My only advice would be to maybe read and re-read and re-read again because I have noticed there are a few typos that you could have easily caught if you read through it. I only know that because I am the exact same way! Typo’s can ruin a wonderfully thought out story. I am queen of them! Great job on everything you have accomplished this semester. I truly think your writing style is something to be proud of and something that you really honed along the way. Good luck with your writing after this class and I hope that you remember your skills of drawing the readers into your story – something you are really good at.
Erin
Paulina!
ReplyDeleteYour title for your storybook is the first thing that caught my attention. I thought that it sounded really interesting so I decided to read more about it. I think that your introduction is really well done and does a great job of explaining more about what your storybook is about and also keeps it really interesting. I also read a couple of your stories. I think that they could be expanded by just doing a little bit of close reading, but overall I think they are well done! I think that you have a really great writing style and that you do a good job of keeping the stories relevant to your storybook theme. I am always interested in learning more about greek mythology because I think it's so interesting and kind of silly that people used to believe such stories to be true. But I think that your storybook brings something to greek mythology that makes it so much more interesting to read! I think that you did an excellent job with your storybook and think that it is a great compilation of stories tied together with the introduction that does a great job of bringing the readers in.